introspection

The sea of my thoughts is deeper than an oceanic abyss. Anything that enters inside it gets drowned and resurfaces only after being putrid. There is a void that needs to be filled; a vacuum that has the power to suck in anything floating close by. It’s consuming my inner self too. When it’s done with me it seeks for a prey that’s “attached” to my inner self. Before, I had the power and strength inside me to channelise my thoughts so that the storm—that reappears so often these days—does not brew up into a dangerous monster. Now it is becoming harder and harder for me to stay clear from the storm. My life seems full but still something’s missing. I have name, success, talent and every possible tool in hand to make my life something I always dreamt of but I acknowledge for the first time there is something that I am not happy about. I have blamed the place, the people and every possible thing around me. Yet even the blame game doesn’t seem to give me any satisfaction. There is something I am looking for and I don’t know what. I know I am on a long arduous journey but again honestly I don’t seem to know the destiny. I am confident I will achieve all the material success. And I bet I will. I don’t think beggars can ever understand life. But I also want something that goes far behind these materialistic virtues. I want to see beyond. I want to know something I have never known, something I have known but never understood, and something that will reveal myself to me. Something that will reflect the God inside me.